Dating Profile for Women 101: Winning with Words
Are you using an online dating site but wondering why it isn’t working for you? Or are you contemplating signing up on one, but are pretty clueless about how to make a dating profile that people actually find interesting?
You’re not to blame, honestly. Coming up with things about yourself for a platform where it’s all out there for everyone to see, can be daunting, even scary. There are as many different kinds of profiles on dating sites and apps as there are people - ranging from interesting, pretentious, snobbish to downright creepy.
Chances are, you’ve come across all of these types. So now that it’s your turn to actually write a profile, and you’re obviously confused. Common thoughts every woman has had while creating her profile - is this too much? Too little? Am I being mysterious enough? What picture do I use - does this show too much skin, or am I coming off as too conservative in this? Hold on. Take a deep breath, and read on.
So when it comes to your own profile, how do you write one that makes you attractive, interesting and genuine - all at once? Below are some very real tips on how to write an attractive dating profile, without losing out on being yourself.
Have a Bio (Yes, You Read That Right)
Let’s begin with the basics. You may think it’s too obvious, beginning a list of dating profile tips with something like this, but you’d be surprised at just how many people think they’re going to land themselves a date without a single word written about themselves. After having swiped left on far too many profiles with nothing written, we’ve come to realize that a necessary starting point to a good bio, is to a have a bio in the first place. Write about yourself. And no, ‘hi, want to know anything about me, just ask’ doesn’t count as a profile. With the vast choice of potential partners offered by popular dating sites and apps, most people will simply move on to the next person if you don’t say anything about yourself no matter how intriguing or mysterious you might think you are.
Keep it Real
There’s literally no dearth of fake dating profiles online, and believe it, people who’re looking for something even a tiny bit meaningful know to swipe left on these. If you think you’re going to get more matches by writing stuff that’s not true, your conversations are going to last only as long as the lies. You’re beautiful, just the way you are, and it’s high time the world got to know this. So write about the fantastic person you are. Think about how you’d like to read about someone if you were to find them interesting, or ask yourself - “Would I find this interesting if I were someone else?”
Avoid Cliches
Wanderlust. Dreamer. Fashionista. Drama Queen. Bleh. The other cliché? Profiles that mention age, followed by an adjective like ‘beautiful’, ‘smart’ or ‘sexy’. Sure, you may be all three, but is that how you’d describe yourself to someone you met in person? If you don’t talk like that in real life, you don’t talk like that online - it’s as simple as that.
Talk about Your Interests
Like books? Have a furry pal who’s your best friend? Are a trained scuba diver? Can kick some serious ass on the PS4? Love to bake? Can tell apart a dozen different kinds of wine? Love classic rock? Fantastic! Put it all down. Men may be attracted to you because you have a pretty face, but there’s only so much preening and pouting one can look at. There’s something incredibly sexy about a woman who knows she’s good at a lot more than being a pretty face, so don’t shy away from showing off the fabulousness you’re made of - whether it is your last trip to the hills, or your choice of films, music or fashion. Workaholic is not an interest nor is it something most men are looking for in a partner so avoid it even if you think it makes you sound driven and successful.
Let Your Pictures Speak
Pictures can make or break your dating profile. One picture that’s got you in it is good, a couple of them - great. The rest? Make them interesting. Took a trip somewhere great? Put it up. Have a picture of you doing something you love? Go ahead. A picture of you passed out drunk? Nope. Put up pictures that tell a story of the person you are, even if some of them are quirky or goofy. Multiple pictures of you pouting, flipping your hair and getting clicked at angles which (you think) make you look better? Hell, no. This is a dating profile, not a fashion catalogue, as much as you’re tempted to prove that you’re a true fashionista. Choose your pictures carefully - remember that old one about ‘a picture speaks a thousand words?’
Keep It Classy
Sure, you’re an independent, confident woman, and it’s no one’s business telling you what to wear or not wear. But there’s no end to the number and kinds of creeps you’ll see lurking on dating apps - mostly just overgrown schoolboys who’ll send you bizarre texts if you match. While there’s no possible way of completely idiot-proofing your profile (Tinder, are you reading this?), you’re likely to draw less attention with classy pictures of yourself. Don’t get this wrong - there’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t show off that gorgeous tan from that last beach weekend, or flaunt those legs in a stunning LBD from your last night out in town!
Short and Sweet
Of course, there’s a lot you have to say about yourself, but why not leave some for the actual conversation when you match with him? And maybe some more, for the date? A good dating profile is like a well-written mystery novel - you hide some, you show some (just like that rule about showing skin in your pictures). The idea behind a somewhat mysterious dating profile is that someone should want to know more about you when they read it. A little suspense will never go out of style - you can drive a man crazy (in a good way) by unfolding your cards, one at a time.
For the stuff you write about in your dating profile - stick to short sentences. Break them up into smaller phrases that’ll stick around in his head, long after he’s read your profile. Don’t ramble. And please, don’t go on and on about why you’re here because you’ve had a bad heartbreak, or because you’re “finding love”. There’s a difference between being romantic and being over-sentimental - the latter’s going to get you a rebound, or an equally whiny match, turning your date into a sob story exchange.
Throw in a Laugh (Or Two)
Men love a woman that laughs at their jokes (even if all you did was be polite, it makes them feel on top of the world). Weird, but true. What men love even more, is a woman who makes them laugh. There’s a lot that humor can do for you, when you do it right. For one, it makes conversation easy. There’s no better way of breaking the ice with a stranger than finding something to laugh about. Secondly, good humor is the sign of a smart brain, and believe it or not, smart is sexy. Pepper your bio with some humor, but don’t go overboard - you’re on a dating app, not at a comedy gig.
A common mistake people make on their profile is to use self-deprecating humor. It’s okay to make maybe one joke about how “you’re down to earth, coz you’re kinda short”, but don’t give out the impression that you’re here to be made fun of. And needless to say, be a sport and take a joke well, but don’t be afraid of shutting up a troll if things get out of hand.
Most importantly - be yourself, unapologetically. Pretentiousness only attracts pretentiousness, and that’s the last thing you want - to match with someone because you both found each other’s bios attractive, only to find that they’re a completely different person from their bio. There’s no need to pretend to be someone you’re not - in fact, men find it deeply unattractive, and it makes you look insecure about yourself.
There’s nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who radiates confidence, and looks good in whatever she’s wearing - a red-carpet outfit or her quirkiest pajamas. Don’t be afraid to show the real you - maybe there will be a few hits and misses, but with time, you’ll learn that there’s little else to a great dating profile than mostly honesty, some interesting facts about yourself, a few bits of humor thrown here and there, and most importantly, oodles of self-confidence all throughout.
It’s not difficult at all. All you need to do is think about yourself - what defines you as a person? What are things about you that make people (and you) smile? What’s the best part about being you? Give it some thought, run through the list above, and you’ll see how easy it is to come up with a dating profile that would make even you fall in love with yourself - all over again.